Video Vortex: TURKISH CAPTAIN AMERICA AND SANTO VS. SPIDER-MAN (Vintage Park)

Alamo Drafthouse Vintage Park presents Video Vortex: TURKISH CAPTAIN AMERICA AND SANTO VS. SPIDER-MAN.

Why do people keep making movies about Marvel super-heroes when the best one already exists?

A maniacal psychopath known as Spider-Man is on a crime spree. He steals golden statues, attacks strippers in strip clubs, and murders people with shower nozzles, speedboat motors, and guinea pigs. In addition, Spider-Man's bushy eyebrows pop through his mask-holes and he prefers a switchblade over web-shooters. Naturally, the legendary super-hero team of Captain America and El Santo are called in to take care of business.

AND THAT IS WHAT HAPPENS.

Upside down drop kicks in karate dojos! Fistfights on top of speeding cars! Spider-Man's ability to clone himself at will (and often)! With non-stop fights and a total disregard for logic, this movie illustrates the proper way to realize the dreams of a thirteen-year-old without spending two hundred bazillion dollars doing it.

At one point, Spider-Man and his girlfriend make love through his costume. Three puppets show up and start laughing. By the way, this movie is Turkish. (Joseph A. Ziemba)